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Showing 1-10 of 10 “When life knocks you down…. calmly get back up, Smile and very politely say, “You hit like a bitch” “there are no knights in shining armour, only assholes wrapped in tin foil.” “I’m not going to bullshit and say I haven’t asked for help before because I have. ‘Can you help me bury this body,’ ‘I can’t find my brass knuckles, give me a hand would you,’ ‘I’ll need help setting this shit on fire.’ See,
I ask plenty. Not your normal, ‘Can you help me move boxes’ shit, but it still counts.” “parenting is also why God created wine.” “Good friends
offer advice and words of wisdom… Real friends come over unannounced with vodka, chocolate, glitter, duct tape, cat suits, explosives, and a plan.” “My wife’s pussy is the closest thing to heaven on Earth. Tight, wet, and pulsing she fits me like a velvet fist made perfectly to accommodate me, and only me. Every time
we’re together like this I revel in the feeling of coming home. Because that’s what she is to me, home.” “A relationship is like a house. If a light bulb goes out, you don’t buy a new house. You fix the light bulb. Unless of course that house is a lying whore. In that case you burn that fucker down, and buy a better house
with good light bulbs.” - Facebook Post” “Sweet, little, I thought innocent Dec asked me if all women liked having their pussies eaten.” Both dad and Uncle Pipe burst out laughing. Uh-oh again. I have no
idea what they’re talking about. I’m eight at the time for Christ’s sake. Not to mention a little horrified that uncle Pipe would eat a cat.” “Priscilla’s Rules to live by 101: “Remember kids; if a stranger offers you drugs say thank you, because drugs are expensive.” All Quotes | Add A Quote
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When life knocks you down calmly get back up smile and say
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