Photo by Tim Mossholder
How can you know if a guy likes you but is hiding it?
For you to feel this way, he must have been giving you all sorts of subtle signs lately!
Maybe it all left you wondering: “Does he really have feelings for me or am I just imagining it? Maybe he is just being friendly…”
My husband and I met at a party and he asked me out for a coffee shortly afterwards. But our conversation was so easy going and neutral, I was also unsure if he was really interested or wanted to just be friends.
Guys can be really sneaky and vague when it comes to showing their interest.
Also, sometimes they’re just shy or afraid of rejection and need encouragement in order to keep pursuing you.
This is why it’s so important that you can tell when a man secretly likes you.
In this blog post I will list all the most important signs to look out for, so that you can know for sure if he has feelings for you but is hiding it.
But before jumping into this, I first want to explain why men act this way.
Can a Guy Like You but Not Show It?
Yes, a guy can absolutely like you but not show it!
What’s more, it’s actually extremely common for relationships to develop this way, when you start off by meeting in person.
When you get to know him, you might feel an instant spark of attraction, but more often than not neither of you will know for sure if it’s mutual or not.
Especially if you meet up in a neutral setting like at school, at work, at a volunteering event, dance class etc.
These aren’t places people specifically go to to find a date.
When a guy is unsure if you feel the same way he does, he’ll often hide his feelings to protect himself from painful rejection.
Another possibility is that he already likes you as a friend and is afraid that by making the move, he’ll ruin what you currently have and lose you for good.
Guys who like you but are hiding it generally need more encouragement, for them to dare to show you how they truly feel.
This is why it’s so crucial that you can read their covert messages correctly.
11 Signs He Likes You but Is Hiding It
These signs will help you know for sure if a man secretly likes you.
When it comes to these kinds of situations, men can really be very vague and subtle.
This is why us women often overthink and overanalyze all the strange things guys say and do.
But there is no point in breaking your head over this too much.
You can trust your gut on this one!
I’ll start off this list with some general signs applicable to all situations, but I’ll also list typical things to watch out for at school or at work, as well as over text and on social media.
Let’s get to it!
1. You Keep On Catching Him Looking at You
This is an all time classic.
You feel somebody’s gaze, so you lift your eyes only to catch him staring at you.
This happens over and over again.
It can be at a work meeting, social events, in class or at a party.
Wherever it just so happens that you two are in close proximity to one another.
Maybe upon discovering this, you tend to smile at him, to make the situation a bit less awkward.
And he smiles back but says nothing.
If you keep on catching a guy looking at you, that’s a definite sign he’s interested in you but is hiding it.
Maybe he is playing it cool, waiting to see what you’ll do.
Or he just doesn’t dare to make a move.
The only thing you can know for sure, is that he definitely likes you!
2. You Keep On Bumping Into Him
Has the guy in question been magically popping up at all the same places that you’ve been at lately?
Maybe you just keep on bumping into him at parties, events or even at the grocery store or during your lunch break.
So you’re inevitably asking yourself: “What are the odds?!” and “What does it mean!?”
Coincidence does happen, but it generally happens ONCE.
If the two of you KEEP on accidentally meeting each other at random places, you can safely assume it’s intentional.
He’s been most likely making sure he’s at the right place and time to maximize the odds of “bumping into you” because he likes you but is hiding it.
He is playing it cool, pretending that it’s a coincidence, while secretly scheming to make sure he gets to see you.
Maybe it’s your soulmate who’s thinking of you.
3. He Is Eager to Help You Out
This is another classic sign that a guy likes you but is hiding it:
He just can’t stop himself from offering to help you out every chance he gets.
He is eager to help you carry things and wants to fix things at your place. Maybe he tells you where to get your car checked.
Or, if you two are at school together, he offers to help you out with assignments, or study with you.
Men do this because they want you to need them.
Being useful to you is their way of securing a debt of gratitude of sorts. So that you value them but also so that you don’t move on.
It’s a definite indicator that he has feelings for you but is hiding it.
Think about it, why else would he be making so much effort!?
4. He Finds Excuses to Talk to You
This is a similar scenario, just that instead of offering you help, he might be asking things from you.
At school he might inquire about an upcoming test:
“Do you know, what’s going to be on it?” (even though you both went to the test prep lesson).
At work the same sign might look slightly different.
A guy who likes you but is hiding it might ask you about an upcoming meeting, despite him surely getting the email memo. Or he’ll ask you about the schedule for the next deadline (even if it’s in the shared calendar).
Point being, he’ll look for plausible reasons to start a conversation with you.
It’s a sure sign that he enjoys talking to you because he likes you but is hiding it.
Don’t let him drag this out though, the talking stage shouldn’t last forever.
If this is where you guys are at right now, it’s time to help him make a move!
5. He Appears Out of Nowhere When You Start Talking To Other Guys
This is a typical sign to look out for at parties and other social events.
The guy you suspect of having feelings for you might seem perfectly preoccupied talking to somebody else.
But then you start socializing with another man and…
…boom! He suddenly appears out of nowhere and seems very eager to join your conversation!
When a guy does this, know that he is trying to guard you.
He is fending off all potential competition because he wants you all to himself.
This kind of display of jealousy is a definite sign he likes you but is hiding it.
Maybe he is even fighting his feelings for you, but it’s just a battle he cannot win.
6. He Keeps on Texting You
This is another classic and yet so many of our coaching clients get even this one wrong!
When a guy keeps on texting you, it’s a definite sign that he secretly likes you more than he would “just a friend”.
He is just hiding his true feelings from you and playing it cool, so that he can keep things as they are.
Maybe he is afraid that making a romantic move could ruin what you guys already have.
Or he is an avoidant and needs to take things extra slow…
Either way, don’t let him fool you. You don’t text with a friend on a daily basis!
At least not for more than a few days. Let alone a few weeks or even MONTHS!
If you’ve been texting regularly for more than two weeks, you clearly mean more to him than just a friend.
It might be time to encourage him with a flirty text, to get him to think about you and admit that you’re more than just a friend to him.
7. He’s Ready to Go Out of His Way to Make You Happy or See You
Another classic confusing male behavior: making a lot of effort just to make you happy and then playing it down as though it was nothing!
One of my clients just shared a story about this the other day.
Her guy drove out for an HOUR just to get her a birthday present. But then he insisted it didn’t mean anything and that they were just good friends.
When a guy puts in this amount of effort to make you happy or even just to see you, it’s a definite sign he has feelings for you but isn’t willing to show it.
He might also not be willing to openly admit it.
Maybe he likes you, but he is an avoidant and that’s why he is playing things down.
He might struggle with opening up and trusting. But he clearly cares a lot, to be willing to go to these kinds of lengths for you!
Keep in mind, you can get an avoidant to chase you.
8. He Remembers Things About You
When a guy remembers things about you, like when your birthday is, your favorite foods, your music preferences or other interests, take it as a definite sign that he secretly likes you a lot.
You clearly must have made quite an impression on him and he probably longs to get to know you even better.
Maybe he even keeps on asking you personal questions or wants to participate in your hobbies.
If this is the case, this could not only mean that he has feelings for you that he is not showing, it’s even a sign of true love from a man!
9. He Keeps on Teasing You or Challenging You
Another way you can know if a guy has feelings for you but is hiding it, is if he keeps on teasing you or challenging you in some way shape or form.
Maybe he keeps on competing with you and always needs to end up being on top and in control.
Or he keeps on making snarky comments that leave you puzzled and confused.
Does he end conversations saying things like: “Is that really so?”, “That’s what you think.” etc.?
Or answers your texts with a single question mark or the raised eyebrow emoji 🤨?
When a guy is acting this way, know that he is playing power games with you.
He is doing it to stay in control of you and of his own feelings for you.
It’s a definite sign that he likes you but is hiding it.
Best way to get him to show his true colors is by playing his game.
You too can answer with a “?” or the raised eyebrow emoji. Another great way to do this is by not texting him first.
10. He Instantly Views Your Stories or Likes Your Posts
This one is pretty self explanatory. When a guy instantly reacts to all your posts and stories, it means ke is keeping his eyes peeled for all your online activity.
He is checking what you’re up to and if you’re dating anyone else.
At the same time, he is also taking an active interest in what you’re doing and expressing his support.
By interacting with you like this, he is keeping tabs on you and showing you that he cares.
It’s a definite sign that he likes you but doesn’t dare to openly say it or show it.
11. He’s Asks You Out “As a Friend”
If you two not only keep on texting but you also meet up every now and then…
That’s a definite sign he likes you a lot, craves your company but he is hiding it and playing it cool.
Maybe he keeps on emphasizing that “you’re just friends” and your heart sinks every time he says it.
You have to read between the lines here!
He is most likely so afraid of spoiling what you guys share by revealing his true feelings for you, he keeps on pretending they don’t exist just to make sure he doesn’t risk losing you.
I know this doesn’t make much sense.
But emotions don’t need to follow logic.
Don’t get me wrong, platonic soulmates do exist. But they’re very rare.
It’s much more likely he is keeping both of you in the friendzone out of fear of losing you.
He is hiding his true feelings because he is so afraid you won’t reciprocate them.
How to Get Him to Admit That He Likes You
Now that you know how to recognize the signs he likes you but is hiding it, you can know for sure how he truly feels about you.
This will make getting him to openly admit it much easier!
All it will take is: either you encourage him by being more openly flirty and playful.
Or calling him out by challenging him a bit.
You’ve probably both been stuck in the friend zone for long enough now.
It’s time to do something about this. Flirting and teasing him are your best bets here.
If after reading all this you feel ready to take things to the next level, check out my other post: How to Get Him to Ask You Out
But if you are still stuck overthinking all his signals and need more help figuring out where he truly stands, I can help you out in a coaching call.
Here I’ll carefully listen to your story and explain his mixed messages to you.
I’ll also give you tips on what to say and do to get him to openly admit that he likes you, so that he finally makes a move.
Click Here to Check Out Coaching Calls
Thank you for reading. In case you have any questions, leave me a comment down below and I’ll get back to you!
Karolina
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Karolina is a co-founder of the SimplyTogether blog. She and her husband Gabriel went from frustrating fights and breakups to successfully building a lasting and loving relationship. Read their story here!