Being the mother of the groom can be a great experience, but knowing exactly what your role is and navigating the dos and don’ts can be a little tricky. Show
 February 1, 2017 Photo: Red Letter Days Photography & Events Your son is getting married, congrats! Being the mother of the groom is an amazing experience, but knowing exactly what your mother of the groom duties are and navigating the dos and don’ts can be a little tricky. Avoid the following faux pas and you’re sure to rock it as the MOG! Here are the seven things a mother of the groom should never do.Wear whiteSame goes for ivory, cream, or any other light neutral. The mother of the groom donning one of these hues is a surefire way to make the bride (and guests) feel awkward.Dress like a bridesmaidFind out what the bridesmaids will be wearing and opt for a dress in a different color and silhouette. Coordinating is great, but blending in completely? Not so much.Overly criticizeYour son and his fiance may choose to do something differently than you would have done it, and that’s OK. They really need your love and support during the planning process, so reserve judgment and resist the urge to make passive-aggressive comments or push your own expectations on them.Insist on upping the guest listTraditionally, the bride’s family and groom’s family are each allotted a certain number of guests to invite. It can be hard to narrow the guest list down, particularly with a more intimate wedding, but that doesn’t mean the mother of the groom should consider her designated portion up for negotiation. Just remember that the bride’s family is whittling their list down, too.Skip the bridal showerShowing up to celebrate your future daughter-in-law will likely mean more to her than you might think. If you really can’t make it to the bridal shower, a gift and a heartfelt card from the mother of the groom is the way to go.Make empty offersThe bride and groom will undoubtedly appreciate the mother of the groom's help on even small tasks, but don’t offer unless you mean it. Volunteer to lend a hand with a few specific things you know you can follow through with.Upstage with the rehearsal dinnerPlanning a nice rehearsal dinner is a generous gesture, but don’t go so overboard that it’s actually nicer than the wedding itself. Keep the budget, venue, details, and overall tone of the big day in mind and throw a simpler, more laid-back affair.Do both sides (bride & groom) throw a bridal shower? The brides family is planning on (2) showers, the aunt and grandmother are planning one and the sister and MOB are planning another. My daughter, sister and I were planning on throwing a shower with the groom’s side as a welcoming for the bride. The bride is very upset as she only wants to have 2 showers and would like us to combine with her mother and sister. This would be fine but I feel too many planners could cause issues as the bride’s side is very jealous of what we do and feel it’s there event and their family should plan the event. Should we just back off and let the brides side take care of this, or should we just host our own? I know traditions have changed over the years but I thought in the past both sides threw separate showers, and being the grooms side, we really have little involvement in the planning or assisting in any of the “Big” days events. Wedding PlannerIn the first place, family members should not host a shower. This is like the family asking guests to bring a gift for their daughter or family member which is not polite. Since you have no control over that, I would cease the thought of a shower for the groom’s side unless they are invited by the bride’s family. That way there will be no overlapping planning issues. Also, only those who will be invited to the wedding should be invited to the shower. Wedding QueenI agree with Nancy. Only members of the bridal party or unrelated wedding guests should host a shower. No more than two showers per wedding. You don’t usually see the sides split up like this unless there is a travel/location issue. Hopefully one of the other hosts will consider inviting some of the groom’s family to their shower or, at least, the mother of the groom. She really should be invited to any showers held for the couple. But, I suppose the question remains…what should you do about all of this information? It’s a sort of complicated question to answer when we don’t really know you or the people involved. Etiquette NowWonderful, perfect advice. I couldn’t have said it better. And, please read our many posts on this subject as it has been covered quite a bit. What should the mother of the groom not do?Here are a few things a mother-of-the-groom shouldn't do.. Don't overshadow the bride's mother. ... . Don't act (or dress) like a bridesmaid. ... . Don't get too critical. ... . Don't steal the bride's spotlight with your mother-of-the-groom outfit. ... . Don't try to invite extra guests. ... . Don't skip the pre-wedding events.. Can mother of the groom throw a shower?The Mother of the Groom Can Co-Host the Bridal Shower
If the mother of the groom is very close with the bride, then she may feel as though it's her duty to pitch in, too. If your mom, sister, or friends are on board with the idea of a co-host, then this is an entirely acceptable route.
What is the groom's mother supposed to wear?The mother of the groom dress should also follow the wedding dress code. Formal weddings require an upscale dress or pantsuit, while the outfit can be more relaxed for a casual wedding. In general, the mother of the groom should wear something comfortable and flattering.
Does mother of the groom get ready with the bride?She can spend a little time with both the bride and groom.
If that's the case, she may want to start her morning with the bride and her group, then leave once she has her hair and makeup done. After, she can head to the groom's getting-ready area to help him prepare for his walk down the aisle.
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Bridal shower etiquette for mother of the groom
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